M’s home where he operates his plumbing business.

WASHINGTON —   Muriel Bowser won the D.C. mayoral race with 54.5% of the vote, doing particularly well in the eastern half of the district and raking in 18,771 votes in precincts with a typical income of less than $50K.

One workingman, however, has expressed major concerns with Bowser.

This citizen has chosen to remain anonymous but has allowed The Heckler to publish his demographic data for statistical purposes and has allowed us to refer to him as M. This Italian-American, D.C. resident and his brother run a plumbing business and are concerned about Bowser’s plans for the district.

M even swears that he and Bowser have had head-to-head confrontations on multiple occasions. Some were just brief encounters in which Bowser allegedly stole gold coins from M, sometimes keeping them for personal use and other times redistributing them amongst M’s peers.

M, among his most serious accusations, also reported that Bowser had threatened his long-term girlfriend.

One wonders if such accusations have any base, and whether or not this could be a reflection on Bowser’s plans for wealth redistribution, crime in D.C., or policies on domestic violence and women’s rights, but M seems most highly concerned with her plans for the D.C. sewer system.

We asked M for further comment on this topic, and he seemed reluctant to respond, but after our correspondent pressed further he blurted, “I-a just-a spend a lot of-a time down-a in the pipes-a. Okay?”