EUGENE, OR — As Georgetown University’s winter break enters the home stretch, many students are pushing their bodies’ paleness to the limits to achieve the coveted “Netflix tan” from the glowing screen of their computers. “I just want to come back to school with the ideal level of cringe-inducing pastiness. When people look at me at the beginning of next semester I want them to wonder: ‘did he spend a depraved amount of time watching Scandal or True Detective to get his body to look that sickly?,’” said Jeff Cortes (MSB ’16) who added that he had to roll over “every twenty minutes or so” to make sure that the level of paleness was spread evenly throughout his body. “Some may say it’s not worth it to continually turn up the brightness of the screen when the computer’s settings automatically adjust the levels of brightness, but you really have to push yourself for the body you want,” said Cortes while noting that the pleasure of basking in his MacBook Pro’s 13 inch retina display with Intel Iris Graphics was a luxury not all Hoyas could enjoy over winter break. Cortes went on to lament that he was running out of tanning oil midway through the second season of Louie.