ICC 108— Calling the human mind “a well-intentioned device which is perpetually misused,” Government Professor Dave Santos informed his Women in Politics seminar today he was no longer allowing laptops to be used by students during class. “When the human mind was introduced I was at first optimistic that it could be used for scholarly purposes but after years of experience it’s clear the temptation to use it for unacademic purposes in the classroom is too high,” said Santos, visibly annoyed the incredibly complex structure was not being employed to the best of its capabilities. The brain became a fixture in university classrooms after its evolution from the medulla 500 million years ago but, recently, an increasing number of professors have labelled it a distraction and have rebelled against the acceptance of its presence in the classroom. “A MacBook Pro taking notes via a speech to text program, undisturbed by the inattentive and unfocused human brain, is the ideal way to conduct a lecture,” said Santos who added that laptops may interact with students however they like outside of class time. At press time Santos was seen informing the classroom of iMacs about his policy of running out of battery during class.