HARBIN– In what some analysts consider an act of war, the FBI has confirmed that North Korean hackers changed Stephen Landa’s (COL ‘18) Facebook status to “poopie.” The hack took place yesterday at approximately 3:07 AM EST. “What the hell?” Landa said. “Now my friends are going to think I’m two years old.” The White House released a statement decrying North Korea’s belligerence, stating, “Kim Jong Un’s regime has yet again proven to be irrational and dangerous, bent on ruining the social capital of our society’s most vulnerable members.  Defacing an innocent, naive freshman’s Facebook status with fecal references has finally crossed the line.” The CIA is reportedly preparing multiple “proportional response” operations, including one which would set every North Korean official’s homepages to Pornhub.