QUIZ: Is Your Mysterious Friend Just Tall And From New England Or Is He A Lighthouse?

He never shuts up about how he’s from New England and he never shuts off that massive floodlight attached to his face. So annoying!

Before you met your mysterious friend from New England, how did other people describe him to you?

For instance, are people more likely to describe him as “nice” or “picturesque”?

1. They said he was tall and skinny. Also, a little on the quiet side.
2. They said, “He just seems a little off. Unless there are ships nearby: Then he seems very, very on.”
3. They held up a postcard from Falmouth, Massachusetts, and said “So pretty! We have to visit someday.”
4. They noted that he’s one of those people who just loves the beach.

How did you and your mysterious friend first meet?

1. It all started when my boy in the Crow’s Nest spotted the storm coming in his spyglass. As we approached that swirling mass of dark clouds, I told the crew to get below deck. I quickly realized we were close to shore: It was then that I feared for all of our lives. But hark! That dearest friend of mine was the light in the storm that allowed me to lead my crew to safety!
2. We had an econ discussion section together.

3. How did you and the grizzled old lighthouse keeper who lives in the highest room at the top of your mysterious friend’s stairs meet?

Lester the grizzled old lighthouse keeper is one of your oldest and most loyal friends.

1. We met down by the wharf when he sold me a schooner from his youth.
2. We met the first time I visited the highest room at the top of my mysterious friend’s stairs. He gave me a tour.
3. We had an econ discussion section together.

How strict would you say your friend is with regard to sailor safety?

1. Very relaxed about it. Only made us get CPR certified once.
2. Pretty Strict. He always overreacts and gets all loud and obnoxious when there are sailors around.
3. [FOGHORN SOUND]

Here’s the bottom line: No matter what score you received on this quiz, I think it’s safe to say that there’s no way your friend is a lighthouse. That would be absurd! He is merely tall and from New England. Tons of people have those character traits! You should go talk to him. Don’t be intimidated by the circling seagulls – he can have friends other than you, you know.