The Georgetown Heckler

News | January 31, 2017

J. Crew Georgetown Launches New Spring “Activist Line”


GEORGETOWN – In response to the rampant campus outrage following the inauguration of Donald J. Trump, J. Crew has introduced a new line of spring clothing, aptly titled “Activist-chic.”

“What we’ve done,” explained J. Crew Georgetown’s chief brand strategist, Jonathan Turner, “was take some familiar clothing items and tailor them to the fashion-conscious, politically-aware college consumer.”

Some pieces include a classic cable-knit cardigan, now made entirely from locally-sourced hempseed. Another piece to be introduced is a slim-cut blazer. However, rather than using its traditional cotton material, J. Crew will be stitching together a collection of original portraits of mid-century Argentine revolutionary, Che Guevara.

“We see the tides are changing,” Turner continued. “Students want to be chic, but also need to express their demands for change under an increasingly despotic regime.”

Turner then presented a series of pin-stripped button-downs that had had their pinstripes rearranged to spell, “This is what democracy looks like!”

“It’s time for real change!” exclaimed Caroline McCarthy (SFS ’19) “and it starts with my chinos!”

Crew has plans to expand the line beyond Georgetown for the fall “liberal radicalization” line. Students can expect to see such politically-motivated, fashion-conscious autumnal gear on campuses such as Duke University, Wake Forest, Connecticut College, Dartmouth College, and Elon University.

“And also,” Turner added, “we have plans for a ‘Stalingrad in the Spring’ line for next year, just in case things take another turn for the worse.”