In an act of true romance, sources indicate that on Tuesday night MSB Student Gerard Hampton (‘19) chose to forward an email detailing a lucrative internship opportunity to his crush Suzanne Rice (MSB ‘20). Hampton said that he knew he had to make a big statement to Rice that would “show Suzy how deep my […]

Thursday evening, his eminence Jack the Bulldog retired to his harem of young poodle concubines. “It is our responsibility to ensure that our sovereign, Jack the Bulldog, is sexually satisfied,” said Patrick Cooper (SFS ‘19), a member of the exclusive club the Jack Crew. The Jack Crew is charged with Jack the Bulldog’s daily care, […]

I can’t blame you for wanting to drift off during surgery. Hell, I can’t count how many times I’ve nearly fallen asleep at the operating table. The sterile room, the fluorescent lights, the warm presence of my colleague Martha, the middle-aged anesthesiologist in her blue mask–it’s the perfect environment in which to drift off to […]

I am the man of my house: the ideal father and husband, I make my sweet daughter giggle; I chastise my smart son when he is a little too smart; and I always give extreme sexual pleasure to my lovely wife. But no matter what I do, I can’t get my caveman under control. All […]

If you’re like me, you probably have fingernails on your fingers. And if you’re as neurotic as I am then you’ve probably tried to clip them before. . If you’ve tried this, you know that ten different fingers each with its own fingernail means ten different chances for something to go wrong! Aaah! But for a […]