Cleaning up in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, the university is replacing piping, repairing various ceilings and looking for that one tiny girl who got completely blown away by the storm.

The girl in question, Shirit Pankowski (NHS ’16), ventured out to Leo’s to get some provisional Grab ’n’ Go and was last seen flying in the vicinity of New Jersey.

Pankowski, who is exactly 5 feet in height and weighs just over 90 pounds, was seized by a particularly strong wind heading toward Harbin Hall from Canal Road as Pankowski attempted to cross the street from Leo’s back to New South.

FEMA crews are currently searching for her on Long Island. Officials hold tremendous hope for Pankowski’s well being, given that Leo’s food will last forever.

The Heckler would like to remind any college students of the fun-sized variety to take appropriate safety measures during extreme weather, including using lax bros to tether oneself to the ground and placing an appropriate number of sandbags in one’s pants pocket. Alternatively, eating at Leo’s for a semester will give students enough body fat to resist hurricane-force winds.