The Georgetown Heckler

News | August 31, 2013

New Outdoor Drinking Policy Causes 10-Fold Increase in Stoop-Originated Insults

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Henle- A recently announced change to campus drinking laws allowing for wine and beer to be consumed outdoors in certain areas of Village A and Henle has caused a substantial increase in stoop-originated insults and catcalls. Students walking through both areas have reported numerous instances of being told that their “outline looks damn good,” to “watch where your face turns,” and that, “bro, you’re breaching the perimeter.” The last one was met with a broken bottle hurled at the recipient’s feet. This rise in insults, coupled with the new policy have met with mixed reaction. Junior, Madi Kay tells the Heckler, “Well it’s nice that students have been given more freedom but I think it’s turned a lot of people, here, into jerks.” The interview was then interrupted by sophomore, Daniel Berringer, who, from his Henle stoop, yelled “Yo! Get off my property! This is my property!” He then stood up to emphasize, incorrectly, that the stoop was his property. When reached for comment on this spike GUSA President, Nate Tisa, explained the benefits of a relaxed drinking policy from the steps leading up to the Village A rooftop: “Damn, gurl, you lookin’ fine today. What you up to later?” When asked to return to topic he became agitated and asked us if we were “the po-lice.” Before we could answer he added, “Fuck the po-lice.”

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