Greetings, sun-bleached readers! It’s me, the editor of The Georgetown Heckler. I hope you all had fulfilling and arrest-free summers. But now another year begins which means another year to join a bunch of clubs that may or not be relevant to any of your interests. Now normally I would advise against joining any clubs. Your college experience is best-spent shut off in your room, bemoaning your rapidly degenerating youth. But if you actually want to join something and make friends with your fellow students, for some insane reason, here’s The Heckler guide to Clubs, or SAC or SA, or whatever, fair.
College Dems v. College Republicans: True to form the College Dems is a sprawling organization that almost every student here belongs to. I’m not sure what they get done but you will spend almost every weekend canvassing voters in some random Virginia congressional district. The College Republicans are a tight-knit black-ops team of people who look like they will one day repossess your house. Who knows where they meet or what they do but damn do they get great speakers, (Jon Huntsman, me-ow.)
A Capella: Do you like to sing? Do you like to sing with other people? Do you like being a stereotype of a college experience? Then join one of Georgetown’s 300 a cappella groups. To audition, maybe- try out your soulful rendition of Taylor Swift’s 22. Because YOU just turned 22. Get it? GET IT!?!?
International Relations Club: If you thought you left those Model UN days behind in high school because, just please, make it stop, you’d be wrong! Joining IRC means you not only get to go to even more conferences, you also get to organize the one at Georgetown. Now it’s your turn to get 10th graders to memorize the proper format for a continuing resolution and to stop smoking weed in the Hilton fire-escape.
Georgetown Radio: It can be scary when you arrive on campus never having heard of Vineyard Vines or Hollister. I spent my first two months here thinking that it was some Cape Cod theme-night and that time had stopped. But if this tsunami of preppy-ness gives you itchy eyes or shortness of breath then your Claritin is WGTB, Georgetown’s haven for online-radio aficionados. One word of advice to those interested in creating a show: get a co-host. I learned the hard way. Two months bantering back and forth with myself doing a sub-par French accent was both awkward and offensive.
The Hoya or The Voice: Consider yourself the next Bob Woodward, or God-forbid, Buzzfeed star-writer, (“35 Cats that Look Like Ex-Presidents,” wow, what a contribution to our democracy.) Then sign up for either of Georgetown’s flagship journalistic publications. Print may be dying everywhere else but the newspaper business here at Georgetown is thriving. Just consult either of these papers’ blogs for proof.
Rangila: Are you from suburban New Jersey and/or white? Do you say Namaste at really inappropriate times? Have you seen one Bollywood movie or at least scream Jai Ho! when intoxicated? Then you’ll love Rangila, one of Georgetown’s most popular traditions. In one costume-filled extravaganza, students whose most in-depth interaction with Indian culture was ordering Tikka Masala one night because they felt adventurous, perform one amazing Indian dance hit after another. You won’t be sure whether to clap or gawk in disbelief.
H*yas for Choice: The asterisk makes it fun! Because Georgetown upholds certain religious norms about birth control (C’mon, guys, it’s in 1 Corinthians!!) our school’s only organization devoted to keeping you from being featured on Teen Mom is not fully recognized by the university. Club space is still provided by the University as long as the janitor is there to unlock that basement storage room.
The Georgetown Heckler: While not an official club per se (paperwork makes my eyes hurt,) the Heckler actually does exist and sometimes actually puts up articles. And if you email editor@georgetownheckler.com you can be one of our writers and join our illustrious team. We also have t-shirts. Not Heckler t-shirts…but old ones I don’t want anymore.
I’m sure there are other clubs that I failed to mention but who really knows for sure? Now go forth and multiply your signature on so many e-list sign up sheets!
