My fellow Hoyas, today we witnessed a devastating blow to our campus democracy. Our new GUSA executives, [winning ticket], have seized power through a fixed and fraudulent election. As is well known, Chicken Madness was rapidly rising in the polls as countless students embraced our sizzlin’ platform of fresh-grilled, meaty goodness. Yet the students’ will did not come through in the results published tonight. It is not for ourselves, but on behalf of all Georgetown students that we call on the university to audit this election and let the people’s voice be heard!
The tactics employed by cadre come to power were discriminatory and underhanded. Reports have come in from across campus that sandwich voters were repeatedly turned away at the polls for not being able to provide a GOCard ID. Dormitories with high concentrations of our supporters were targets by university authorities, in some cases enduring 3:00 AM fire drills every morning in the run-up to Election Day. Worse still was the constant slander endured by the Chicken Madness campaign in press. At varying times, I was personally accused of being a nativist, a Knight Templar, and “high in cholesterol.” These are the tactics of weakness; the weakness of a GUSA élite threatened by what our campaign represents—frightened of change, frightened of accountability, frightened of my spicy kick.
To our devoted supporters: I extend our deepest thanks for your enthusiasm, your commitment, and your appetites. You are what drives us to roll off the grill each morning and work tirelessly to improve the university we share and love. In the wake of this sham election, many of you have assembled in Red Square to demand the ousting of [winning ticket]. As much as we admire your ardor, the campaign is firmly committed to the tradition of lawful, non-violent protest that has prevailed at Georgetown since the twelve fatalities that occurred in the ’89 Riots that followed the closing of the campus pub in Healy Hall. We do not want to see a Ukraine here on campus, and so we urge all our loyal supporters to take down the barricades in front of the ICC and return to their dormitories. The system is broken, but we will toil unceasingly to reform it from within.
Once again, I reiterates its demand for an audit of the election results. Let the GUSA tyrants prove their commitment to democracy by giving Georgetown students the chance to defend their rights. We at the Chicken Madness campaign know that I hold special place in students’ hearts, and not just in their arteries. We refuse to be intimidated and will never give up the fight until justice has been done!
