On Tuesday afternoon at a ribbon cutting ceremony, Corp CEO Sam Rodman (Col ʼ15) unveiled the Corpʼs new storefront: Corp Bathrooms.
“This is an important day for Georgetown and our company. I could not be more proud,” said Rodman, standing before the stall door. “Weʼre filling an important need on campus. Thereʼs nothing like this on the Hilltop.”
Currently operating in St. Maryʼs lobby, Corp Bathrooms is a sprawling 75 square foot complex which features a toilet, urinal, toilet paper, and three framed pictures of Corp employees.
“Months of planning from all corners of the Corp went into this, weʼre confident this is going to be our best service yet,” said Corp COO Patrick Moore (MSB ʼ15).
Plans to expand the service are already underway: a sink is expected to be added to Corp Bathrooms in the spring of 2015.
Simultaneously on Tuesday, the University announced its plans to immediately shut down the 197 bathrooms it operates on campus.
“Seeing the need for fair play and to ensure the quirky small business we love succeeds, we thought it was only fair to close down all of our functioning bathrooms,” said President DeGoia in a statement.
Some students, however, saw it as an inconvenience.
“Living in Quad itʼs a bit of hassle to walk ten minutes to brush my teeth,” said Samantha Powell (SFS ʼ16). “A lot of the time thereʼs not even toilet paper. The employees are always on their phones, which is okay cause itʼd be weird if they were watching me pee. But I guess in the spirit of entrepreneurship itʼs all worth it.”
Applications were also released on Tuesday for Corp Bathroomʼs summer hiring class.
“This could be the most competitive service to work in,” said service director Mike Klein (SFS ʼ14) “Corp Bathrooms? Who wouldnʼt want to work there?”
As of press time 45% of campus had applied for the three open spots.
“Once we figure out how to make money off this, itʼll definitely be profitable,” said Corp CFO Gene Ball (MSB ʼ16).
For the worldʼs largest student-run corporation, spirits are high about the latest endeavor as well as the administration.
“Those kooky Corp kids are at it again!” said Vice President of Student Affairs Todd Olson.