If thereʼs one thing there is a shortage of, itʼs march madness articles. Part two of the Hecklerʼs March Madness advice has arrived.
WEST
1 Arizona v 16 Weber State: Weber is not a state. If they donʼt know that how can they win a basketball game?
Pick: Arizona
8 Gonzaga v 9 Oklahoma St: LeʼBryan Nashʼs name kinda sounds like LeBron. Thatʼs good enough for me.
Pick: Oklahoma St
5 Oklahoma v 12 ND St: With so many Oklahoma schools in the tournament itʼs clear thereʼs only room for one.
Pick: ND St
13 San Diego St v 6 NM State: Do I look like a goddamn rainman? Trust your gut.
Pick: NM State
6 Baylor v 11 Nebraska: How will Baylor deal with the loss of Brittney Griner? With a loss.
Pick: Nebraska
3 Creighton v 14 LA-Lafayette: Will the Raginʼ Cajunsʼ be recovered enough from Mardi Gras to be in playing form?
Pick: Creighton
7 Oregon v 10 BYU: The nationʼs premier Mormon university may rack up multiple wives, but is hard pressed for wins.
Pick: Oregon
2 Wisconsin v 15 American: When has a fifteen seed every beat a two seed besides the obvious example everyone can recall?
Pick: Wisconsin

MIDWEST
1 Wichita State v Cal Poly/ TX So: Wichita State had a “perfect season” in the sense that they won every game they played.
Pick: Cal Po… err, no, Wichita State.
8 Kentucky v 9 Kansas State: Kentucky was at one point ranked number one in the country but eventually dropped out of the rankings entirely after their players realized the richness of their college experience would be expanded through a diversification of their extra-curricular actives.
Pick: Kansas State
5 Saint Louis v 12 NC St/Xavier: Saint Louis playing somewhere in the Midwest? Talk about home court advantage.
Pick: Saint Louis!
4 Louisville v 13 Manhattan: Look for Manhattanʼs players to put their city on the map.
Pick: Manhattan
6 U Mass v 11 Iowa/Tenn: U Massʼs star playersʼs name are Chaz and Cady. I mean come on.
Pick: U Mass
3 Duke v 14 Mercer: Duke will have no Merc(y)er
Pick: Duke
7 Texas v 10 Arizona St: Donʼt forget the goddamn Alamo just yet.
Pick: Texas
2 Michigan v 15 Wofford: Cʼmon Michigan, it would mean so much to Wolford… Wofford… am I saying that right?
Pick: Michigan
NIT SPECIAL BONUS COVERAGE
4 Georgetown v 1 Florida St

Pick: FGCU