The Georgetown Heckler

News Features | March 17, 2014

The Heckler’s March Madness Bracket

By

Warren Buffet is offering one billion dollars for a perfect bracket, my advice is free. But you also get what you pay for.

SOUTH BRACKET

1 Florida v 16 UA/MS Mary: Florida has the cure for MS (Mary)

Pick: Florida

8 Colorado v 9 Pittsburg: Evenly matched numbers here, legalization gives Colorado the high, but not the higher score.

Pick: Pittsburg

5 VCU v 12 SF Austin: Austin is the capital of Texas, look for them to capitalize on turnovers

Pick: SF Austin

4 UCLA v 13 Tulsa: Thirteen is an unlucky number. Everyone knows that.

Pick: UCLA

6 Ohio State v 11 Dayton: Both schools are in Ohio, so who is really the winner here?

Pick: Ohio State

3 Syracuse v 14 W Michigan: HA. Fuck Syracuse.

Pick: Syracuse

7 New Mexico v 10 Stanford: Why donʼt 7 seeds play 11 seeds? Then itʼd be 7-11.

Pick: New Mexico

2 Kansas v 15 E Kentucky: Look for Andrew Wiggins to drop 27 points with 12 rebounds and 9 assists in a romp over Eastern Kentucky.

Pick: Kansas

EAST BRACKET

1 Virginia v 16 Coastal Carolina: A sixteen seed has never beaten a one seed. It will happen. Is this the day?

Pick: Virginia

8 Memphis v 9 George Washington: Aw, GW thatʼs so cute.

Pick: Memphis

5 Cincinnati v 12 Harvard: Harvard is going to want to get back early from the tournament and study for exams.

Pick: Cincinnati

4 Michigan St v 13 Delaware: I took a train through Delaware the other day. Itʼs a lovely place.

Pick: Delaware

6 UNC v 11 Providence: Providence? I love it, baby. You gotta admire the heart, baby. Take the doubles ones all day.

Pick: Providence

3 Iowa State v 14 NC Central: Iowa State University is the nation’s most student- centered public research university. 100 majors. 800 clubs. 1 amazing adventure.

Pick: Iowa State

7 Connecticut v 10 St. Joeʼs: UConnʼs womenʼs team is good, but how will they stack up in the menʼs tournament?

Pick: St. Joeʼs

2 Villanova v 15 Milwaukee: My sister once picked Villanova because its name sounded pretty. She won our family pool. Canʼt question that logic.

Pick: Villanova