HEALEY LAWN — Expressing concern for the mental and physical wellbeing of her new roommate, junior Jennifer Lemieux (MSB ‘16) recently lamented that exchange student Fish may not be adjusting well to her study abroad semester at Georgetown University.

Fish (COL ’16) as seen on Healey Lawn this weekend.

“She’s super quiet, and I’m pretty sure that she’s just been laying on Healy Lawn since she got here,” Lemieux told The Georgetown Heckler. “She doesn’t have any possessions and she doesn’t sleep in her bed. I don’t know, maybe Fish is just weird… she’s probably also pretty homesick. Oh, and she reeks of decaying marine life.”

“I saw a bunch of guys pouring Natty Ices on her as she laid in the lawn a few nights ago, so it’s possible that she’s just way too into partying,” Lemieux added. “I just hope she cleans her act up and stops letting ants and birds eat away at her decomposing organs and scaly exterior.”

Fish, a theology major and lifelong resident of the Atlantic Ocean, has reportedly failed to attend a single class this semester and is yet to participate in any extracurricular activities.

“Though I cannot comment on Fish’s case directly, it troubles me that some students studying abroad at Georgetown are experiencing a difficult transition to the Hilltop,” said Katherine Bellows, Executive Director of the Office of International Programs. “But whatever, they’ll deal.”

At press time, the body of Georgetown student and Atlantic Ocean exchange program participant Adam Mendoza (SFS ’16) was discovered lifeless and bloated on the rocky shore of Cape Elizabeth, Maine.