M STREET — Local reports have come in that the Howard family spent over one-third of its family vacation to Washington D.C. in line at local snack shop Georgetown Cupcake.
Speaking via phone after returning home to Jackson Hole, Wyoming family patriarch Eric Howard described the trip as “awesome” and “everything the guidebooks produced by Georgetown Cupcake said it would be.”
In total, the family spent both Tuesday and Wednesday of their six-day trip on Potomac Street outside of Georgetown Cupcake without adequate food or shelter.
“Just standing in glow of that ‘As Seen on TV’ sign was enough to make my trip,” said the youngest member of the Howard family, Emily, 10.
At any given time the line at Georgetown Cupcake extends at least 2.3 blocks.
“I was really upset they didn’t have a gift shop actually,” added her brother, Matt, 14.
“I just saved my cupcake as a souvenir. Still haven’t touched it. I’m gonna save it for a special occasion,” he added.
The Howard family was adamant that they would return to DC to go to Georgetown Cupcake again.
“And maybe we’ll go and see the Washington Monument and Congress and stuff if there’s time.”
The Howards also declared their enthusiasm for the release of the new “Georgetown Cupcake Guide Book” which had the “definitive ranking” of the top Georgetown Cupcake shops in DC.
“Yeah we actually get a lot of customers like this family,” said Georgetown Cupcake Owner Rafael Hernandez. “I can’t believe it either.”
Many others outside of Georgetown Cupcake shared this sentiment about the importance of waiting a long time to pay a lot for a doughy baked good coated with a substance of pure sugar on the top that they have all had dozens of times before.
“In this city rich in culture and history what else is there to do besides wait for hours on a narrow sidewalk off M street for pastries?” asked waitee Elizabeth Rafferty.
Several other line goers nodded their heads violently in agreement.
“Listen man,” said Georgetown Cupcake Cashier Lucas Marcus. “There’s a line whether you wanna buy a cupcake or ask me a question.”
At press time I was still in line.