To the horror of Gilban construction officials and delight of fantasy connoisseurs, Georgetown University came under attack this week after the felling of trees in the Northeast Triangle upset a group of ents.

The Ent attack caused considerable damage to the Northeast Triangle construction site but did not damage that weird green box thing that no one knows what it does.

As construction began on a new student dormitory, several trees—among the largest and last remaining on campus—had to be removed from the work site. The destruction of this foliage was thought to have provoked these creatures.

Ents were believed to have vanished from the planet soon after the dawn of the Fourth Age and the coming of the Dominion of Men and thought only to exist in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. Yet a small colony of the two-storey tree shepherds appears to have survived and long lain dormant in Glover-Archbold Park. Now roused to action at the sound of their flock hewn down by chainsaws, the ents quickly swept onto campus, sowing a path of destruction in their wake.

The attack culminated on Healy Lawn where a confused and frightened Jack DeGioia watched from Healy tower as the ents rampaged across the university, tearing up water mains and flooding the campus. The ents only withdrew after DeGioia summoned SNAPs to write up the ents for noise pollution.

In spite of the attack, construction is expected to resume on the Northeast Triangle. At press time, students were relieved that the ents had left no human casualties, though many expressed disappointment that they did not do greater damage to Lauinger Library.