LAU 2 –“And then we could reference the third info-graph’s secondary purpose in the conclusion! Perfect! I’ve gotta write this down before I forget.”

These were the words that fell upon deaf ears of one Statistical Econometrics group project several nights ago.

According to a source who would only speak with The Heckler under the promise of anonymity (due to fear of losing points on “participation grade”), Karen has become the sole group member doing any work on their project to analyze government revenue in developing nations.

Group members celebrating the hard work of Karen (not pictured).

“Originally, we all met up and discussed some ideas, but I think the play that really set the work distribution came when she emailed a detailed dictation of everything we had said during our meeting. She even wrote down the 2 minutes we talked about Jason’s girlfriend’s fear that she has ebola.”

(Note: Karen sent revised notes after sources close to Jason’s girlfriend have confirmed that she does not, in fact, have ebola.)

While at first most members of the group would at least feign interest and pretend to Google things, recently even this charade has broken down in light of Karen’s “ability to carry the team like that.”

During a group meeting on the second floor of Lau several nights ago, two group members skipped even pulling out notebooks and instead just started texting. Another member seemed to be studying relevant class material based on a deep and unbroken concentrated stare focused on his computer. However, further investigation clarified this stare and key-clicking was instead directed towards a heated YouTube comment war.

Eventually all members of the group were transfixed by one of a variety of technological devices or internet sites.

While the project is supposed to be collaborative, the most recent projections show the likelihood of any other member typing up part of the project range at a measly 2-5%. Further, projections place the likelihood that Karen would immediately delete said contributions at a staggering 83-88%.

Finally, reports have confirmed, however, that at least 3 of the 5 members additional members of the grouped have cited the project to other professors. “Hey I’m just totally swamped with tests and this hellacious group project that I’ve been working on. Any chance I can get an extension on your assignment?”

Karen declined to comment for the story, citing how she was “crazy” busy with this group project she’s a part of.