WHITE GRAVENOR- 65 year old student Joe Tucci (COL ‘17) arrived to class last week proud of his Psychology term paper on schizophrenia. Not only was this veteran of Vietnam and the Carter administration proud of his critical analysis but he beamed as he proudly stated he had typed it. On a computer. “Coming back to […]

PINK HOUSE- Numerous members of the Simga Phi Epsilon fraternity, a body of many of the self-titled “broiest dudes on campus,” have struggled in the recent cold weeks to find ways to apply chapstick in a way that does not look effeminate. “My tanks, bicep curls, Patagonia fleece, they’re all wasted if I look like […]

VILLAGE C EAST —  As funds have recently become available the Georgetown Department of Public Safety has upgraded to the latest in on-campus crime prevention: 12-Speed Huffy Bikes.   Georgetown’s most notable crime syndicates, the Mazzetti Family, Los Gatos Crew, and those skecthy emo kids who smoke outside of Lau sometimes, have been rumored to […]

HEALY CIRCLE — “Every time a tour gets led and they refer to the ‘Gentle-MAN behind me’ my skin starts to crawl,” stated Jess Yu (NHS ‘18) to the Heckler.   Recently, Hotly Entrenched Students Hating Entrapment (HE/SHE) group has spoken out strongly on a topical issue. In a variety of circles around campus, students […]

In the pursuit of culinary excellence one must take risks. And in the world of culinary risks, one has never felt more threatened than when walking into Quick Pita.   Having walked into pita-shops blackout in numerous countries during my time as a drunk food critic, I have not only eaten, but regurgitated my fair […]

NEVILS — “It was ruining everything. I was becoming alienated from my freshman roommate, I hated checking my phone, and it just really shows how selfish Jessica is,” said Chelsea Frampton (MSB ‘17).   Reports having been brewing amongst confidential sources for the Georgetown Heckler for some time but last Thursday numerous credible sources confirmed […]

34th STREET — Eat & Joy is a Georgetown establishment I have not experienced before. Known only by locals, one must have their ear to the ground to hear rumblings of this purportedly delicious destination. For me, Eat & Joy came to my attention while at a local townhouse when I heard whispers of a group move […]

LAU 2 –“And then we could reference the third info-graph’s secondary purpose in the conclusion! Perfect! I’ve gotta write this down before I forget.”   These were the words that fell upon deaf ears of one Statistical Econometrics group project several nights ago.   According to a source who would only speak with The Heckler […]