POTOMAC RIVER—This weekend Georgetown Sailing coach Michael Callahan announced that the team had contracted three cases of the disease scurvy aboard the SS Cura Personalis.

Callahan said the cases came about after 3 months on seas as the ship was sailing through the Philippine Sea.

The cases emerged as the ship was sailing close to Paulau

“You know, we try to keep incidence of the disease under control, but in our profession it’s just hard sometimes” Callahan said, adding “Arrrr avast ye maties.”

Steven Wilkerson (COL ’17), one of the students who contracted the disease, attributed it to an inability take  Leo’s fruit out of the dining hall and too many nights without contact with a port.

Wilkerson’s roommate, Adam Mariotta (SFS ’17) was quite surprised upon receiving the news from Student Health Services two days after the ship made port in Manilla.

“You know, you expect to get sick around flu season, but scurvy? That just came out of nowhere.”

Mariotta said that he figured something might have been wrong once his roommate’s messages in bottles  began displaying signs of lethargy, mood swings, and gum disease.

“I just figured it was midterms” shrugged Mariotta.

Student Health Services has begun distributing literature on the signs and symptoms of scurvy and how to avoid it.  “It’s that time of the year, and stuff like this spreads quickly on college campuses” said SHS representative Julianne Davenport.  “Our advice as always is: don’t share drinks, eat lots of oranges, and make sure not to roam the high seas for months at a time as that can lead to fruit spoilage and overreliance on dried meats” she added.

Other members of the sailing team could not be reached for comment, saying “we be too busy marauding kayaks on the Poto-mack ye bilge rat!”