LAU 2  — William Moore (COL ’18) sat down at a table on Lau 2 last night at 8:21pm and left this morning at 9:02am in what he decreed was his “first all-nighter”, via his personal Twitter account.

Moore’s (COL ’18) description of the pile of coffee cups.

Moore’s roommate reports that the assignment in question was a 15-20 page paper for his Introduction to Biblical Literature class.

According to recent data, Moore spent 62% of his all-nighter discussing the fact that he was, in fact, intending to stay up all night to do work. The rest of his time was dedicated to drinking Red Bulls and Corp coffee and purposefully leaving the empty containers on the table so people would know how caffeinated he was, walking aimlessly from table to table trying to get people to ask why he was up so late, and taking Sporcle quizzes while trying to hide the fact that he couldn’t name all 50 states.

At one point in the night, Moore is reported to have entered a simultaneously heated and passive “one-downing” battle with Introduction to Biblical Literature classmate Andrew Hernandez (MSB ’18).

Hernandez began the conversation by asking Moore how his paper was coming along, to which Moore responded, “I haven’t even started yet, I am so hopeless. I had three meetings yesterday and two midterms this week, so I’m just starting. I’m so screwed, I’m pulling an all-nighter.”

A bystander reports that Hernandez then revealed that he had three midterms that week, on top of six meetings, plus he had not done any of the readings for the class and was “totally screwed” as well.

Moore then told the story about how his dog died last year and left the table to seek sympathy elsewhere.

By the time 9 am arrived, Moore had written 6 pages, formatted them in Cambria, changed the spacing to 2.1, and changed the size of the periods and commas to 14 pt using advanced find and replace and emailed it to his TA.

Moore then proceeded to Leo’s for breakfast with the hopes of running into people who would ask him why he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

“I figured they’d either ask and I could tell them about all the hard work I did last night, or they’d just assume I was walk-of-shame-ing. Either way, I get scrambled eggs and some credit.”