LAU 2—Citing the injustice of the On-Campus Requirement for the sophomore class, roommates Dino Liu (SFS 17) and Michael Han (COL 17) decided to adopt a child together.

Han, the individual behind this idea to exploit the loophole allowing students to live with dependents off campus stated to reporters “babies probably don’t eat much because they’re small.  And we need a house on Prospect!”

Liu insisted that the move might, in fact, be a good addition to their house and not a burden.

The pair said they would “take that middle one” when looking at adoption websites.

“Chicks love babies!” insisted Liu, hoping to dispel any romantic rumors regarding the heterosexual roommates and hopeful parents.  “Freshman girls are gonna be all over that!”

The two continued to discuss the advantages of raising an infant together as “total bros” while on hold with the American Adoption Agency, bystanders reported.

When reached for comment, a mutual friend of both students Stephen Sanders (COL ’16), ensured those who had voiced concerns about two 19 year-olds being given sole care of another human life in order to avoid living in Village A that the two had thought this through.

“They’ve read all the baby books man,” said Sanders, who elaborated that the pair “know how many Subway sandwiches babies need per week,” and added that “it could totally crash on sick futon Han bought from his older brother.”

The Office of Residential Living, has, at this time, reluctantly admitted that they would technically be forced to allow the two to live off campus with the child.

The pair were each was furiously Googling adoption agencies and Georgetown landlords, prioritizing the two equally.