HENLE — According to University officials, a minotaur has taken up residence in the labyrinth outside Henle Village over this past weekend.

The Minotaur, as described by witnesses to DPS’ Greek sketch artist.

“I was raised in a labyrinth back home in Crete and just don’t feel at home living anywhere else” said the man-bull hybrid in an interview with The Heckler. “Then I stumbled upon this nifty little fixer-upper of a labyrinth right under the Leavey bridge and just had to settle in.”

Students have found that the minotaur, although polite, is irascible when students get lost and trespass in his home, and has already gored several students.

“I usually just walk around aimlessly until I find my way out” said Theseus Athenaica (SFS ’17), “but it hasn’t even been here that long and fourteen kids have already died, so I’m gonna try to leave some string and trace my steps back next time.”

University officials have hastened to downplay the significance of the event. “It’s an inevitability that when you set up a labyrinth, you run the risk of a minotaur finding its way in. We’re currently trying to fish him out but can’t seem to find him. It’s like a maze in there.”

Construction Chief Daedalus Patericari, who is overseeing the construction on the Northeast Triangle Dorm responsible for the construction of the Labyrinth, was confused as to why students were coming to any harm. “It’s literally a straight shot through. Just don’t go left or right and you’ll get right to the other side. Compared to my other labyrinths, this one is tiny.”

“Frankly, the students here have been less than hospitable” said the minotaur. “I’d go home, but now I’m stuck here too.”
“You’d think the University might make a map or something,” he added.