It’s time for Catholic tyranny in our salad shops to end. Let them sell condoms.

Today the Students of Georgetown Incorporated opened their first new storefront in a decade, the Hilltoss, a salad and smoothie shop in the Healey Family Student Center.

I visited the new storefront this afternoon to review its offerings for the Heckler, but was left with a thought I couldn’t shake afterwards: why aren’t they allowed to sell condoms?

The Hilltoss offers a wide array of salads which I found enjoyable from all angles of the palate, but not a single condom.

The Liberty Cobb tickled me pink with its new twist on a classic formula. The Far East Movement was an adventure that took my taste buds to new lands.

But then there’s the elephant in the room.

Condoms.

Or the elephant not in the room I should say.

The ambiance seemed nice. The workers were pleasant enough. But why can’t they sell condoms?

We as a student body are being screwed by the University in this salad shops. And being screwed without contraception.

I’m inclined to believe that this is yet again our arcane administration once again imposing their heavy-handed version of justice and stopping our on-campus salad and smoothie shops from selling condoms.

Why on this campus can I choose between the Brutus and the Jay Gatsby but I can’t choose between Trojan Magmuns and Skyn Ecstasy when I’m at the Hilltoss?

This way of enforcing antiquated and ineffective rules about contraception in our local eateries seems entirely arbitrary.

Standards such as these don’t stop students from buying condoms — all they do is force them to go to other nearby salad shops such as Sweetgreen to buy contraceptives.

It’s time for this stranglehold on our eateries to end.

It’s time the University understand it’s not stopping from students from having premarital sex. In fact, by strangling salad and smoothie shops of their staple of contraception, all they do is encourage risky behavior.

I’m proud to attend a Jesuit school which teaches education of the whole person, but on days like today, when I can’t walk into a salad shop and choose from a wide assortment of condoms, I question what this school really stands for.