DAHLGREN CHAPEL– In the aftermath of Pope Francis declaring evolution and the big bang theory as truth, the Georgetown Creationist Club has managed to maintain their contempt for science.

“It is certainly a blow to our club, but I believe we can come out of this stronger than before,” said club president Adam Smith (COL ‘15), “Naturally, this will cause our selection process to become a bit more rigorous.”

The club, founded from nothing by an act of God in 1925, has faced difficulties in the past, with discoveries such as carbon dating, distant galaxies and other religions.

“Many of our club members with weaker faith have left, leaving room for our members who are especially adamant in their beliefs to thrive,” said treasurer Eve Frut (SFS ‘16).

Group members are confident that their campaign to discredit evolution will be more successful than their previous campaign to prove dinosaur bones were put in the ground by God to test man.

In the coming weeks the club will hold a number of events around campus to showcase the strength of their group and its positions.

On Wednesday the group plans on holding a million non-evolving man march to White House.

On Thursday the group will present the arguments against evolution by showcasing photographs of animals over the past decade to show “just how little change is taking place.”

At press time, club members were seen throwing microscopes from the top of Dahlgren Chapel onto the quad pavement.