VCW — After nearly a semester of dating, freshman couple Tim Quinn (MSB ’18) and Annabelle Crosby (NHS ’18), reportedly parted ways Sunday night, a decision many attribute to the couple’s first attempt to hook-up sober on Saturday evening.
The couple, whose twelve previous hook-ups had been exclusively on Saturday nights between the hours of 11:30 p.m. and 1:30 a.m., agreed this past Saturday afternoon that they were ready to try talking and interacting sober, and decided to give it a shot that evening. The experience was eye opening for both parties.
The freshmen couple during happier times this semester.
“The first thing I noticed was how short he was,” said Crosby. “Height is a hard thing to gauge in Brown House, so the first time I met him I decided he was ‘medium’ height. But my God is he small. I felt like I was talking to one of my little brother’s friends.”
“Well I thought her name was Anne Marie, so I guess that was my first surprise,” said Quinn. “From there things fell apart pretty quickly. She asked me if I liked my classes, but I thought she said ‘asses,’ so I laughed, but then she didn’t…Look it was awful, OK?”
Witnesses near the VCW 6X common room, the location of the meet-up, expressed similar sentiments regarding the couple’s interactions.
“Well I had the unfortunate pleasure of walking in on them trying to hook up,” VCW R.A. Josh Laird (COL ’16) said. “They were just sort of staring at each other. I mean, the poor guy had his hands in his pockets. I’ve seen some bad romantic moments, but that? Jesus.”
The hook-up, which lasted a mere 40 seconds, ended after the couple bumped heads, injuring Crosby’s eye in the process.
“At that point, I think we both knew it was over,” Crosby said. “I just told him I had an exam to study for and that hopefully I’d see him this weekend. I won’t see him this weekend.”
“If you think that head bump was an accident, your delusional,” Quinn said. “I couldn’t stand another second of such awkwardness, so I aimed my temple at her eye and lunged. I regret nothing.”
At press time, reports indicate that Crosby had Facebook messaged Quinn asking him “if he was around this weekend,” to which he responded, “yeah, you wanna chill?”
