KEHOE — Completing what has been called a significant improvement to athletes’ safety, the university last week replaced the entire Kehoe artificial turf with a bed of used syringes.
The turf, which has been a source of complaints from club and intramural athletes in recent months, was pulled from the roof of Yates on Tuesday night and replaced the next day with a sea of hypodermic needles harboring a variety of contagious pathogens.
The field under construction.
Reaction from the community has been overwhelmingly positive. Ivan Coller, chairman of GUSA’s intramural sports working group, praised the replacement as a major boon to the health and wellbeing of students. “Before, we had lacrosse players spraining their ankles almost daily because of holes in the turf. Now players can just get a quick Hepatitis vaccination and start their games. We couldn’t be happier.”
According to Georgetown’s Vice President for Planning and Facilities Robin Morey, the renovation was nearly shelved last year due to budget constraints. “We were considering a few different options, like decommissioned landmines and broken glass to replace the turf, but nothing made a lot of financial sense until we were approached by MedStar,” he said. “They were looking for somewhere to dispose of their hazardous medical trash, and I told them we have just the place!”
University spokesperson Rachel Pugh elaborated on the financial woes that previous hampered the project, telling The Heckler, “Almost all of our sports budget was earmarked for the new athletic center. If we had diverted some of it to Kehoe it would have meant sacrificing the massage parlor for the polo team’s horses,” she wrote in an email. Pugh concluded that the funds were secured after a planned case for the football’s trophies was scrapped.
Although the new field covering is a major improvement, students noted it was not an entirely perfect solution. Club soccer captain Jimmy Claude explained, “We have to pay for surgical gloves for our goalies, plus our players still can’t dive.” Even so, he admitted, “If anyone gets stuck by a needle, the hospital is right next door, so they can get tested for meningitis and back on the field by halftime.”