The stall may take “weeks” to fully clean according to facilities.

DARNALL—On Saturday morning, two freshmen were reportedly seen engaging in an intense argument in the Darnall 5 common room over who destroyed the men’s communal restroom handicap stall.

Two freshmen, Brad Sartz (MSB ‘18) and Dylan Wazzabi (SFS ‘18) were seen throwing fists for the rights to claim credit for the enormous amount of excrement haphazardly strewn in the stall and the broken door which was now removed from its hinges.

While both freshmen reported that they had “close to zero” memories from last night each party reported that destroying the stall in such an explicit manner was “right up [both of their] alleys.”

Sartz and Wazzabi have spent the afternoon compiling witnesses and snapchat evidence to prove that is their fecal matter currently occupying the handicap stall.

“It’s frankly impressive that one of them could have destroyed the stall so thoroughly,” said Buddy Garrisson (COL ‘18) with his eyes a little watery. “Especially during finals.”

The floor’s female population reported being equally impressed.

“Wow, what alpha males,” said Diane Weiss (NHS ‘18) while gossiping with her roommate about just how much waste matter was in the men’s bathroom.

Early this afternoon the conflict still raged between Sartz and Wazzabi.

“This is just like [Wazzabi] to take credit for something I clearly did,” said Sartz. “It’s just like the time I pooped in the elevator and he tried to take credit for it.”

“I guess the next time I poop somewhere I’ll have to record myself doing it so this doesn’t happen again.”

At press time Sartz and Wazzabi were seen heading to the RA’s room to bring in an outside arbitrator.