Morales (COL ’16) with his friends.

RED SQUARE — Raúl Morales (COL ’16), who is also an Alaskan Kodiak Bear enrolled in the College, returned from winter break to find that he had a similar experience over the three weeks as many of his classmates.

Morales, as a bear, spent December first eating approximately 200% of his body weight in salmon, rich in protein, before entering a deep, month long slumber.

“Actually, it seems like a lot of my friends here at Georgetown did more or less the same thing,” said Morales, “which is weird, because I thought humans did not hibernate like I, a bear, do annually.”

Raúl, who weighs approximately 1.5 tons, first noticed the similarity when talking to his friend, Tammy.

“She was like, ‘Ugh, I did nothing over break, I just ate a lot and slept for a while,’ and I was like, ‘Ha ha, same?’” Morales roared before between picking out berry stems from his teeth.

There were, however, several stark differences between his experience during recess and that of his human counterparts.

“Everyone was like, ‘I went to Aruba, what about you?’ And I was like, ‘I curled up in a ball next to my mother and sister at the bottom of a dark cave in northwest Canada,’” said Morales.

The 7 foot tall omnivore also remained perplexed at the seemingly constant conversations about Netflix.  Said Morales, “I may try to access these on demand shows, but, because I I do not have thumbs, I cannot operate a laptop computer, nor do I have access to power sources at home.”

At press time, Morales decided that these cultural rifts could not be mended and decided to eat Tammy for her nutrients.