ICC 108 – After receiving the new syllabus for Introduction to Sexuality Studies, students reported they were surprised to find that various overtly sexual lab sections had been added to the course. After the hiring of Professor Miranda Hughes, the class has supposedly been restructured to be more “hands on.”

The course, a staple of the Women’s and Gender Studies Department, has long educated students on what sexuality is, where it comes from, and how it shapes us all. And now thanks to Dr. Hughes, it will teach young minds how it works as well.

“I cannot tell you how many guys I’ve been with that don’t know how they feel about anal sex,” commented Dr. Hughes, “which is why I designated a workshop to preparation and enjoyment. I really want to students to find their inner, raw sexuality in this class. This is what the academic environment is all about.”

Students called their professor’s unambiguous attempts at seduction “a continuous distraction.”

Students reported that the new additions to the course were “uncomfortable” and “not the class they imagined”, but were barred from dropping the class via Dr. Hughes’ efforts to seduce the University Registrar, John Q. Pierce.

The newly redone class meets for four two hour lab blocks Monday through Thursday in the ICC, a one-hour lecture Friday morning in St. Mary’s, and Sunday night office hours in Dr. Hughes’ bedroom.

“My goal in this class is to give our young minds the experience they need and deserve. A college education is not complete without well-taught and thorough instruction,” said Dr. Hughes as she created the lesson plan for the ‘Fellatio and Cunnilingus: A Gateway to Oral Proficiency’ unit.

Dr. Hughes was last seen retreating into her office wearing lingerie with smooth jazz echoing from inside.