WHITE GRAVENOR – Bowing to a growing trend among elite universities, Georgetown University rescinded diplomatic recognition of the state of Wyoming on Monday in an effort to advertise student representation from all states.

According Charles Deacon, Dean of Undergraduate Admissions, the move came after a number of steps to recruit more candidates from the nation’s least populous state.

“We lowered the bar as much as we could. We told the Wyoming students, all you need to matriculate to Georgetown is an admissions letter from GW,” he said. “But we still only had one applicant, and I’m pretty sure she was a cow.”

After recruitment efforts failed, Deacon ordered the University’s alumni ambassadors to return home on Sunday.

Georgetown’s move comes on the heels of a recent push by major universities to improve geographic diversity. Cornell recently decided to implement a “merit-blind” admissions policy for the state of Alaska.  Following suit, the University of Pennsylvania re-classified each New Jersey county as a separate commonwealth.

University president John DeGioia commented, “Georgetown has always believed in the fundamental tenet of ‘Community in Diversity.’ Well, we just got 1/50th more diverse than Notre Dame, so they can suck it.”

At press time, the admissions committee was reportedly in talks with the census bureau to classify Asian students with a “stated passion for global justice and a career interest in consulting” as an underrepresented minority.