Photo via sodahead.com

LEO’S – After gently spreading a layer of peanut butter on his toast, Sophomore Brett Davies (MSB ‘17) reportedly applied Nutella to that same piece of toast Tuesday morning  in an act of gross overindulgence.

Witnesses at the scene registered shock at Davies breach of toast decorum. “Look, we have standards of decency here, and clearly this guy crossed a line. Your toast gets one spread, that’s it,” said freshman Jacqueline Zolanda (SFS ‘18).

While sources were uncertain of the exact quality of the toast, all agreed that it would have had a sumptuous taste far beyond human comprehension.

“I had to avert my eyes because honestly it was just too much after a few seconds,” said Leo’s cook Jeanie Robbins. “I know we put both the peanut butter and Nutella out there today, but by God, who would have dared? It’s sickening.”

In a statement to reporters, Davies acknowledged that his actions pushed the bounds of civilized society, yet claimed he was protected under law.

“I know that I have offended many people. But we live in a free country, so if I want to totally destroy the bonds of social solidarity by recklessly combining sweet spreads on my morning toast, I am free to do that.”

Davies joined a long list of radical degenerates such as the Marquis de Sade, Marilyn Manson, and EPA administrator Gina McCarthy.

“Do you know where this is leading? Total anarchy. Why not pour an unholy combination of sugar and molasses down your throat now that all the rules have been broken? I don’t know what kind of world we are living in,” said one traumatized witness.

At press time, Davies was considering other depraved combinations such as honey, Nutella, and pure Colombian cocaine.