HEALY HALL – A representative for the Office of the President told reporters on Monday that President DeGioia is still sure that Jack Sr., the beloved Georgetown mascot who passed away on June 3rd, only left to live on a farm in western Pennsylvania.

Patricia Moore (COL ’16), a summer assistant, said that the office of the president has done all it could to insulate the president from the truth about Jack Sr.

“Look, don’t fuck this up for us, okay?” Moore said over the phone. “Yesterday someone on a conference call said, ‘Sorry about Jack,’ to him and he almost threw up from crying too hard.  I had to tell him it was a joke and then take him to the toy store.”

President DeGioia seemed confident in Jack’s well being.

“Oh, yeah!  Jack’s there on the farm with all the other bulldogs: Jack Sr. Sr., the Jack from when I graduated, the one that served in World War I, that one bulldog I ran over with my car – all of them!” he said.

The president’s conviction appears to stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of biology.

“You know how it is with bulldogs, it’s just the reality of it,” he said.  “They live for 8 years, get crippling hip dysplasia, maybe their heart valves stop working, then they go on to live an active life at Happy Bulldog Acres in Doggytown, Pennsylvania with their mom and dad and all the treats they can eat forever. Strong breed.”

Moore emphasized the fragility of the situation and how much work has been put in to keep the illusion going.  One of her new weekly tasks includes writing the president a postcard ‘from Jack’ to let him know that he’s doing well.

“Please, if you see [DeGioia], just don’t say anything about Jack Sr.,” she said.  “Actually, don’t say anything about death at all.  I don’t think he knows what that is yet.”

At press time, DeGioia was standing at the waterfront, waving to his goldfish that he flushed into the Potomac.