LEAVEY CENTER – Representatives from McKinsey & Company announced this morning that, in partnership with the Career Center, they would be offering an on-campus workshop to teach prospective employees how to sever ties with any personal moral system or code of ethics. “We pride ourselves on giving our students the best resources to secure a job, and this workshop will put Georgetown grads on the best footing to excel in consulting,” said Career center advisor Lauren Williams.

McKinsey associates attested that the skills included in the workshop have proven to be invaluable in their own personal lives, from leaving behind the limiting moralism of the Catholic Church to gradually peeling away from strict Kantian imperatives to respect human dignity.

“Our workshop is a fantastic opportunity for Georgetown students to learn how success in consulting ultimately comes from letting any semblance of morality drop by the wayside for a different code of ethics, where ‘good’ means optimal synergization and efficient cost-cutting strategies, and ‘bad’ is, well, I don’t know,” said McKinsey recruiter Brent Haversmith.

Students responded enthusiastically, with many jumping at the chance to divorce themselves from any lingering Jesuit ideals that may have floated into their heads during their time at Georgetown.

“Frankly, the only thing holding me back from consulting is a visceral indignation at the cult of money in our society, and I’m really hoping these well-dressed people can help me just totally forget about that,” said Anna Karlin (SFS ‘17). “I’m nervous that they might ask me about my family during the interview. I don’t want it to seem like I have a conscience.”

Representatives from the consulting firm stressed that “any student interested in learning how notions of fairness or indecency no longer apply in a globalized world” could attend, not just those applying to McKinsey.