We the students of Georgetown University and the Georgetown Heckler, stand together today in solidarity to demand that the Administration divest any possible endowment holdings in private prisons or Red Lobster franchises. The unethicality of profiting off of the imprisonment of persons and the immorality of seducing customers with Cheddar Bay Biscuits has long been acknowledged, and the University must stop reaping these benefits. We have no need to make an extended argument on this matter, the facts are proven and clear.

We take pride in being students of Georgetown University, but unfortunately we cannot take pride in the shadier business deals our administration has engaged in. Private prisons allow for people to profit from the containment of other human beings. Red Lobster is built around the deranged idea that seafood is alright to eat no matter how far one is from the beach. These realities can simply not be justified.

If you, the Administration, continue to not comply with these demands regarding imprisonment and that vile restaurant, you should be prepared for large-scale community action. This action will be organized and effective. We will use whatever methods of protest available to us, such as sit-ins in the President’s office, rallies in Red Square, or coating our bodies in Red Lobster’s Crab Linguini Alfredo sauce and publicly reading Private Prisons: The Human Marketplace. If we do not receive a formal response to our demands within the next two weeks, we will begin our organizing.

Signed,

      The Georgetown Heckler