HARBIN HALL, GU – Local idiot James Marshall (COL ‘20) excitedly announced to his roommate this morning that it is Friday. “Thank God It’s Friday!” exclaimed the resident nincompoop before being gently alerted that it was in fact, Thursday. The ignoramus’ brief moment of glee was thus shattered by the stunning news.

“Why did I have get paired with this dumbass?” sighed James the Dummy’s roommate, as the now-sulking moron double-checked his calendar.

In a quick dimwitted moment, the pinhead had mistaken which classes he had had only yesterday; thus causing the imbecile to assume time had advanced two days instead of one. What a blockhead.

“It was like a total bummer” the exasperated nimrod sighed defeatedly. “At least I have Easter Break to look forward to next week!” remarked the upbeat bonehead.

Unfortunately for the dunce, the Lord’s Resurrection is weeks away.