KALAMAZOO, MI.

Calling it a defining moment in the 7th grader’s life, sources confirmed that Linden Grove Middle School student, Charlie Thompson, had been given a fun new nickname by his friends that makes reference to the 13 year old’s weight. “Originally I had hoped that I would be seen in the group for more than the one-dimensional aspect of my weight, but now I’m starting to think that ‘Tubz’ might not be the worst name after all. People just generally assume that I’m funny and I also get to follow in the footsteps of people like Chunk from the Goonies” said Thompson adding that the new nickname had already inspired spinoffs such as Tubbers, the Tub Boat, and Doc McTubbins. “In the grand scheme of things, I could have gotten it much worse. I’ll just have to wait for a high school reunion or something when I can come back a lot thinner and people can see me for who I actually am.” At press time, Thompson was seen drawing a funny face on his stomach in front of a crowd of laughing classmates.