BARCELONA? – Last we heard from Lionel Messi things seemed to be ship-shape and, although we here at The Heckler understand that everything is subject to change, we have received no information since that has led us to believe otherwise. So we are just going to assume, cautiously, mind you, that the Argentine Ace is still at large scoring goals and performing whatever day-to-day tasks he does.

To be frank, our sources in that pocket of the world are inconsistent by the most generous of estimations and seem far more interested in both their studies and their online presence than sports journalism. So, we’ll only relay what we know, and that comes from a 2011 viewing on one of the small TVs in Buffalo Wild Wings while much more interesting events were on commercial breaks. Messi seemed to be in great health and content in his career. At this point, we are going to assume that he remains so, but he of course could have moved on to greener, or indeed less green, pastures.

As for Cristiano Ronaldo, we have reason to believe that he remains very handsome. Apart from that, we know very little and do not wish to speculate further.