TINDER – Junior Esther Caulfield (NHS ‘21) was undoubtedly one of many to swipe right on what seemed to be an ironic and admittedly funny profile featuring Georgetown’s beloved Jack the Bulldog. 

“It was just the most adorable picture, and the bio said things like ‘I love to take long walks and skateboard!’ It was just too goddamn cute,” says Caulfield, who screenshotted the profile and immediately showed it to all of her friends. “I asked my friends if they would be my bridesmaids, because who wouldn’t swoon over such a lovely guy? It was meant to be, lol.”

The comedy continued when Jack unexpectedly came on rather strongly in his first messages, opening with “I love chewing on a good bone. Do you like bones in your mouth?”

“It was funny, because, like, it’s Jack the Bulldog and he’s talking dirty to me,” said Caulfield. “So I kept it up. There were a lot of dog puns exchanged.”

“It did become kind of weird when he asked me to come over to his room,” she continued. “At first I thought he was still being funny, but eventually he made it clear that he totally, absolutely wanted to bang. Then he told me his room was in Darnall, and I was like, I’ve been talking to a freshman this whole time? Ew.”

“Also, he never told me his real name. He insisted on being called Jack the Bulldog the whole time. It was weird.”

As of this writing, it appears our dear Jack is still searching longingly for his Rose. Godspeed, my old friend. Godspeed.