The Georgetown Heckler

News | January 20, 2020

“Wow, Powerful Stream,” and Other Urinal Icebreakers

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For many Georgetown Students (probably around 50%, but who’s to say), trips to the bathroom often involve an awkward silence shared with adjacent urinal users. Those looking to break the ice and form meaningful connections, no matter the scenery, can lead with the following:

 

  1. “Wow, powerful stream!”

Leading with a compliment is a great way to strike up a conversation. By acknowledging this individual’s flow, you also give a nod to his exceptional level of hydration. Make sure to maintain direct eye contact, for the contrary would be rude and downright creepy. 

 

  1. “Stagefright huh? Don’t worry, this is a safe space.”

It happens to the best of us. Nobody likes a failure to launch, so it is important to create a supportive and understanding environment. This can be an embarrassing situation, so follow up by telling the person how much you love and care for him.

 

  1. “You don’t buy beer, you rent it, amirite?”

Absolute classic, and totally relatable. This one will make you seem like a badass; the earlier in the day, the better. Any guy who hears this will surely think, “Beer? I sure do love slugging brews, and this fine gentleman seems to enjoy just as much. He must be very cool and also chill.”

 

  1. “Wicked Pissah”

Admittedly, this works best in the New England area, but feel free to try if the fellow dons a Red Sox cap, or if you are in a Dunkin’ Donuts restroom. After initiating a chat with this pissah pisser, proceed to ask him about Paul Revere or tuna fishing in Gloucester. 

 

  1. “HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?!?”

Guaranteed to captivate any audience – no son required.