As Saturday night came to a close, many Hoyas retreated from the Vil A rooftops after a night fraught with regrettable behavior. Sophomore Eugene Hicks (COL ‘22) was chief amongst this group, because he really shit the bed. Soon after he arrived, Samantha Jennings (NHS ‘22) recognized Hicks from her economics class, and asked for his name. Poor Eugene, making a vast miscalculation for a first impression, replied “Eugene like Eugene Levy, not Eugenics.”

Samantha was taken aback by the comment, hurrying back to her friends as soon as the opportunity presented itself. “I don’t get why he would say that,” she recounted. “Eugene is a normal name, but now I think he actually was named after ‘Eugenics,’ and is probably a proponent of the ideology. Also, who the hell is Eugene Levy?”

Eugene, still searching for answers, presented his side of the interaction. “I just didn’t want her to get the wrong idea about me,” he said. “I’m definitely not cool with radicalized population control, and I thought I should address that right away. Eugene Levy, on the other hand, is right up my alley.”