SCIENCE – According to chobanipropoganda.gov, that watery substance atop your Greek yogurt isn’t water at all. The liquid is actually whey, a protein that naturally separates out of dairy products. Everytime someone cracks open a fresh tub of Fagé and says, “Ew why is there always water on top,” not only are they wrong, they are also very insensitive.

As it turns out, the yogurt itself isn’t too keen on that weird juice either. The healthy snack thinks its liquid is gross just as much as the rest of us, but when the cap goes on and the refrigerator door closes, it is the one who must live with these flaws. You can stir until the whey mixes in, but the yogurt knows itself too well. The liquid may be covered up and buried deep within, hiding from unkind stares, but it is still there. It always will be. Sure, some days are better than others. Paired with granola and some assortment of fruit, greek yogurt may occasionally dissociate from its inner turmoil and enjoy being in a parfait. Soon enough though, an extended bout of loneliness will inevitably ensue. Abandoned in the icy recesses of a Frigidaire, the liquid once more rises in the container and entombs the yogurt like the dirt atop a casket.

Sadly, there are times when greek yogurt wishes it could expire early. Despite their apparent weaknesses, some tubs have been able to stay positive. They take solace in the fact that they have remained natural. The Dannons and Yoplaits of the world have had significant work done in the form of emulsifiers and thickening gums. Greek yogurt may be self conscious, but it owns and addresses its unappetizing liquid rather than selling out like those other social climbers. Leave greek yogurt alone – it’s beautiful as is.