ZOOM—Imagine a silent Zoom call with twenty Republicans singing a song about widespread voter fraud to the tune of Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon and Yoko Ono. That’s about all you need to know about this week’s Georgetown University College Republicans (GUCR) Choir performance. 

Whether the audience enjoyed the performance is unknown. By the end of the first song, all cameras were off. The silence was palpable. Even though there was no applause, the choir insisted on doing an encore— Imagine (All the People that Committed Voter Fraud).

The Heckler met with John Smith, the choir’s spokesman, after the show. Smith, still riding the high from a rather questionable choir performance, shouted excitedly as he spoke. He called the performance “a testament to the healing power of Lennon for such a dark time in our democracy….the energy was crazy. Most people are suppressed by the Machine, but the crowd clearly understood.” 

Smith reclined in his armchair, looking nostalgically at a photo of Roger Stone’s back tat. “It’s about taking back the true meaning of Christmas…It’s what he would’ve wanted. You have to understand, Lennon loved satire. I would know, my dad once got front row tickets to see him in ‘72.” 

When the Heckler asked which show his dad saw, Smith chuckled to himself. “The music my dad heard from those front-row velvet cushions made me the man I am today. As far as I’m concerned, my little choir has created a Republican anthem.” 

My internet was conveniently having some trouble, so I accidentally had to leave the Zoom call while John Smith was explaining Lennon’s legacy.

Merry Christmas from the Heckler. Make sure to count and recount your gifts and blessings this year.