When Caroline Maudsley (SFS ‘23) decided to jet off to France for a semester abroad, she knew that her relationship with Sawyer Flanagan (COL ‘24) would certainly need some “spice” in order to last. 

“Well, it started off as you would expect” noted Maudsley. “When you’re, you know, 4000 miles away from one another, you have to compensate by sending some fairly saucy texts most of the time. I began with a simple ‘What are you going to do to me?’ and he replied with a standard “I’m going to make you want it.” Nothing too out of left field, so I hit him with ‘and then what?’ Next thing I know I’m receiving a text that says ‘I’m going to stutter ‘you like that?’ as I fail to take off your bra.”

Maudsley confirmed how shocked she was after reading Flanagan’s painfully authentic comment, but now notes that she “doesn’t want to have it any other way now.”

“It’s tough adjusting to a place where you don’t know the language nor many people. So waking up to a text that says ‘I won’t be able to get it up and I’m going to project my insecurities about this onto our relationship as a result,’ is just, ugh God” noted the junior through a rosy blush. 

“I swear to God I feel like I’m laying right next to him, staring mindlessly at his VCW ceiling as he struggles to put a condom on the third night in a row.”

When inquired about his unique sexting style, Flanagan exclaimed, almost defensively, “Well, I mean, I was just trying to keep it realistic—I didn’t want to change any of the magic that we had last year!”

At press time, reports indicate that Flanagan was on his phone in his CPS recitation, firing off a very raunchy text that stated “I’m going to avoid eye contact with you as we do it because I’m fundamentally nervous about the way our relationship is going.”