It was an honest mistake, I swear! 

Great Aunt Hilda just got her first smartphone and, unfortunately, that meant we had to add her to the family group chat. So beyond just the crime of the daily spam of Facebook (I mean Meta) memes we get from her, I also level the charge of ruining Thanksgiving against her! Let me explain.

Everyone in the group chat is dropping straight fire suggestions for what I should cook for Thanksgiving. Caramelized sweet potato casserole. Double bacon mashed potatoes. Anything with an ABV above 40%. All great ideas, and what does Great Aunt Hilda want? “Micemeat pie” (ew, British food).

So being the good hostess I am, I make everyone’s suggested foods for them! Do y’all know how hard I worked to locate micemeat that was both organic and had never guest-starred in Stuart Little? Not easy!

Anyways, I’m serving up my desserts and G-Aunt Hilda says the ‘mincemeat pie’ is not very fruity. Just like her, always complaining! So I remind her that there’s no fruit in micemeat pie and everyone swivels to look at me and asks me to repeat what I said.

Everyone devolved into hysterics over what I thought was a nice gesture, and now I’m the villain of Thanksgiving! Rats! (or: mice!)