GEORGETOWN – The Office of the President has just announced that, due to massive popular demand, all upcoming Parents Weekends will now be replaced with “MILFs And DILFs Weekend”. This announcement comes on the heels of one of the sexiest Parents Weekends to date.

The Heckler’s own Bangable Parents Correspondent reported that this year’s Parents Weekend turnout featured 86% of moms having an L.A. face with an Oakland booty, as well as 77% of dads having one of those heavy credit cards that’s made of metal and plastic (so you know they’re RICH rich), so the update to the name feels well-timed.

“We are very excited (yes in a horny way) by this decision,” the University wrote in an email to all students. “Parents who are from the Midwest or any state where all popular foods are cheese-based need not attend. All trophy wives and himbo husbands are highly encouraged to attend.”

Note: In the spirit of inclusivity, LGILFs (Legal Guardians I’d Like To Fuck) are welcome to attend MILFs and DILFs Weekend as well.