Dear God, why did he pick me? I had one conversation with DeGioia when I was one of the student-athletes recognized at a Hoyas basketball game (Georgetown Sailing represent!), and now every time I’m in the same general vicinity as him he goes out of his way to shoot finger guns at me or give a very big and obvious wink in my direction. He doesn’t say anything to me, either. Take a situation from last semester: I’m minding my own business in line at the farmer’s market, and he walks by with his little entourage. Everyone else is looking at him, but I keep my head down; I don’t want to do this again. DeGioia ignores everyone else, stoops down until he’s in my field of view, then waits until I make eye contact with him, whereupon he shoots those damn little finger guns at me while making that clicking sound with his mouth. Then, he walks away without acknowledging anyone else. 

He haunts me wherever I go on campus. I think I might be the only student that he recognizes, so now he thinks we’re pals or something. He even does his little pew-pew thing when he should be talking to famous guests at Georgetown. I saw him having a conversation with Elizabeth Warren in Gaston Hall before her talk, and when he spotted me out of the corner of his eye he completely ignored what she was saying, crouched down a little, closed one eye like he was looking down gun sights, and went “pshew!” 

Mr. DeGioia, I am not your friend. Please stop acting like it before you embarrass yourself, me, and the entire Georgetown community in front of another famous person.