Amidst calls for a new stadium, better recruits, and increased funding, we seem to be overlooking a better opportunity to solve the Hoyas’ football-related woes: Texas high school competition. 

As the old adage goes, the Hoyas might benefit if they “pick on someone their own size.” I believe a few games against high schoolers could increase the boys’ confidence. After all, wearing “Georgetown Football” merch every day as you ride around on your scooter can only boost your self-worth so much. 

However, the proposition has faced backlash from head coach Ron Swanley, who claims Texas would be “too big of a stage” for his young team. Known for its bright lights, enormous crowds, and tremendous hype, Friday-night football in Texas would sharply contrast the all-familiar games on Cooper Field, which are contractually bound to end within 3 hours so that the club cricket team can begin practicing. The Heckler contacted Senior linebacker Johnathon Brock for comment, to which he replied, “I play football?” 

For now, the team is set to play a competitive game against a small liberal arts school you’ve never heard of. Colgberry, or something. Although they would love your support, the Hoyas understand if you’d rather watch the grass growing outside of your window.

*DISCLAIMER: This writing represents my personal opinion and should not be taken as a representation of the views of the entire Editorial Board. Some claimed it was “too dangerous” to criticize the football team. But hey, what’s the worse that can happen? They’re clearly not gonna tackle me.