CHURCH – Vice President of the United States Mike Pence was reportedly sitting solemnly in a church pew at a local Washington D.C. area same sex wedding. Pence was overheard quietly whispering “In the name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I object to this union” to himself during the vow ceremony. “Here it comes” […]

HARBIN HALL, GU – Local idiot James Marshall (COL ‘20) excitedly announced to his roommate this morning that it is Friday. “Thank God It’s Friday!” exclaimed the resident nincompoop before being gently alerted that it was in fact, Thursday. The ignoramus’ brief moment of glee was thus shattered by the stunning news. “Why did I have […]

Ever since the Inauguration of Our 45th President, Donald J. Trump, the nation has been shaken by protests against our fairly elected president (yes, liberals, the Electoral College is fair! We are Republic, not a Democracy, so working the system to get our man at the top is legal! Deal with it!).  In particular, the […]

1) Moving Healy slightly to the left (Class of 1975) Talk about a campus shift! This minor change caused many students to bump into a myriad of doors, walls, and portals!   2) Monica Lewinsky Scandal (Class of 1968) No explanation needed here. This one had us all on the floor!   3) Rolling clock hands back […]

NEW SOUTH – Calmly packing his few belongings, Georgetown’s new Director of Hindu Life, Brahmachari Vrajvihari Sharan, took great care to explain the reason for his move to Darnall Hall. “The search for the achievement of the liberated self, or atman, requires an examination of both the world around and oneself,” Sharan said as he […]