Following the increasingly desperate string of emails inviting students to “A Thanksgiving Dinner at Leo’s with Jack DeGioia,” the very lonely university president attended the celebration all by himself.
Grabbing fistfuls of sloppy Joe mix and piling high the “turkey” halfheartedly prepared by Leo’s workers, DeGioia was disappointed and lonely but not entirely without hope.
“I may be the only person at this school who could think of nothing better to do for Thanksgiving than go to Leo’s, but I have lots to be thankful for,” DeGioia said. “I’m thankful for authoritarian control of campus policy, I’m thankful for this sloppy Joe and I’m really thankful for my best friend [Vice President for Student Affairs] Todd [Olson].”
Although displeased to be waiting on DeGioia hand and foot, workers at Leo’s were happy about the low turnout.
“DeGioia’s no picnic — the sloppy Joe must be full at all times — but at least we don’t have to deal with students,” one anonymous employee said. “If they liked eating here enough to trust us with a holiday meal, then we wouldn’t be doing our jobs properly, now would we?”
“Maybe they just don’t like me?” mused the university president. “Maybe I need to think like them.”
In an effort to show his understanding of issues pertinent to student life, Georgetown University President John J. DeGioia attempted to use Grab ’n’ Go dining services for the first time, meeting significant difficulty in doing so.
“What do you mean a fruit cup is an entree?” a visibly frustrated DeGioia said at the time. “I get two sides, so I picked a fruit cup and the tiny muffins. Wait, the muffins are an entree, too? This is ridiculous! Did I sign off on this?”
The Leo’s attendant at the Grab ’n’ Go station was equally displeased by the encounter.
“Mr. DeGioia kept trying to take two drinks: one for his cereal, one to drink. The policy he sent down explicitly forbids that. You’d think he’d know his own policies,” he said, turning away to placate an irate DeGioia holding a tiny juice bottle.
Still unvisited by university administrators, the Leavey Center Grab ’n’ Go location remains an all-you-can-carry buffet.
